Loki Epona Phoenix' Phases: WELLNESS SPRINGS FROM SELF-ESTEEM

Friday, November 25, 2005

WELLNESS SPRINGS FROM SELF-ESTEEM

© 2006 Mark Robert Gates

There comes a time in your life, when you have to step up, and take the bull by the horns and take charge of your life. When being babysat gets old, and clinging to scraps of a life that crashed and burned, cannot get you, to anywhere you desire to go. You, then mark that spot, and move on, to another, one step at a time. Then, while you begin to stand up for yourself, inside, and return to caring about yourself, you find a you worth loving, and begin to give the painful gift of yourself to others.

I was always concerned about others, and apathetic about what happened to me. Lost along the way, was a self, I could stand up for and champion. Now, I know we are supposed to be humble, and that the mighty are low, and the low are mighty, however, the nonexistant cannot be. My life has to be worthy of my own respect, and I will not allow myself to waste away, with no self-respect. I must now pick up where I left off, when my zeal of youth failed, and turned me out into the world all alone.

I now realize, I need the other people in the world, for my life, to have meaning. As I begin to find friends again, and feel love for others, I must place myself into those roles as being of importance. I must be open and honest, and unmask my feelings, in order to have myself known. I find as I do so more, there are, also, more who love and know me. Then those who love and know me, become people, I know and love, and strangers on a bus with glaring looks, do not matter any more. I can have no time for people so judgemental, they believe they know a person, just by looking. I must remove myself from having to be, whatever, those strangers believe me to be, and become, only, who I am, to myself and friends. Then those, I show myself to, will know, I am another person, who can be trusted not to change how I feel, because of a dirty look.

I am worthy of love, trust and admiration, we all are.

1 comment:

Willow said...: yes, you are very worthy. I am glad that you see that. Oh by the way, don't forget to set your comments so that people have to "word verify" to post. Otherwise you get posting spam. I was hit with a lot of it before I turned that on.; Monday, November 28, 2005 7:48:00 PM

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ASTROLOGICAL SIGNAGE

I went through a period where I looked into different ideologies, philosophies, beliefs, and theologies, here is what I discovered when looking into Astrology. Remember, no matter what one thinks of Astrology, Astrological charts give us an ability to know exactly where each of our solar system's planets were, at each moment in history, a study not included in Astronomy. I myself do not choose to see my life's choices, actions, decisions, and destinations, as being determined by planetary movements, and reading Horoscopes for me, is just a means of amusement, unless, I do not like what the Horoscope says. Astrological information for: Mark Robert Gates; Aquarius, born in Syracuse, New York, on February 8, 1959, at 2:19 AM; Aquarius is the eleventh Sign of the Zodiac, and Aquarians are the perfect representatives for the Age of Aquarius. Those born under this Sign have the social conscience needed to carry us into the new millennium. These folks are humanitarian, philanthropic and keenly interested in making the world a better place. Along those lines, they'd like to make the world work better, which is why they focus much of their energy on our social institutions and how they work (or don't work). Aquarians are visionaries, progressive souls who love to spend time thinking about how things can be better. They are also quick to engage others in this process, which is why they have so many friends and acquaintances. Making the world a better place is a collaborative effort for Aquarians. The Sign of Aquarius is symbolized by the Water Bearer. In much the same way that the Water Bearer brings that precious liquid as a gift, Aquarians shower the world with their thoughts and new ideas. Luckily for Aquarians (and the rest of us), they are at a near-genius level, so their minds churn out some amazing things. Their thought process is also inventive and original. While Aquarians are happy to bestow these ideas as a gift with no strings attached, they are much happier when the rest of the world agrees with them. Naysayers will quickly find out that Aquarians can be impatient, even temperamental, with those who disagree. Yes, these folks can be quite fixed in their opinions, in keeping with the Fixed Quality assigned to this Sign. Even though Aquarians are happy to give, and they do, it's often on their terms and within their comfort level. Generally, that means ample space, since these folks are freedom-loving and individualistic and need to roam (and yes, they do enjoy travel). While Aquarians are generally sympathetic and compassionate, they like it when things go their own quirky way. Some might call their behavior eccentric (and they would be right), but when you consider that the Aquarian's heart is truly in the right place, a few oddities should be overlooked. In their own way, Aquarians treasure their many friends and acquaintances and want to give back as much as they can. Rising Sagittarius; If your Rising Sign is in Sagittarius, happy is how people see you. Doesn't matter if you're in a foul mood, you look for all the world to be the consummate optimist, the open, friendly adventurer typified by Sagittarius. On the other hand, Sagittarians are often restless and contentious; they bore easily and sometimes pick fights for the fun of it. You give an impression of such indifference that others may say some crazy, unexpected or even hurtful things to you, expecting their comments to roll right off your back! You can't help it -- you're just exuding that characteristic Archer cool. Moon in Aquarius; You are not easily moved by emotional displays and can be curiously detached from your own and others' emotions. It's almost as if you could turn your feelings on and off at will so you should be careful not to leave the switch "off" too often, for you could easily become too impersonal. Family ties and attachments are not as important to you as they are to most people and you often consider your friends closer to you than your blood relatives. Certainly, your sympathy and concern extends much beyond your immediate family. In your personal relationships, you insist upon a certain amount of independence and the freedom to pursue friendships with as many people, of both sexes, as you choose. You do not appreciate a jealous, possessive partner. You feel comfortable in an atmosphere that is open and experimental, and you have little taste for convention and tradition. Mercury in Aquarius; You are a progressive thinker, open and receptive to new technologies and breakthroughs in science, and the latest discoveries in any field. You have high expectations and a deep belief that mankind's problems can be solved through the use of our creative intelligence and inventive mind. You have no patience for those whose conservative, unimaginative outlook limits their capacity to find solutions and envision a better future. You also like to keep abreast of current developments in world affairs, for you instinctively know that what happens in one part of the world affects everyone. You have a strong humanitarian impulse. Practically speaking, you have an aptitude for organization and enjoy being involved in cooperative endeavors or businesses that are contemporary and innovative. Venus in Pisces, Love sign; Idealistic, sensitive, sentimental, Spiritual. Mars in Taurus, passion sign; When you have Mars in Taurus you are passionate, sensual, and down to earth. The powerful energy of Mars can be grounded and focused when it is in this placement. You have an assured and determined air that surrounds you, a confidence that you project onto the world. You are persistent and patient, making you a lover who will be stable. You are even tempered but once angered, you are honest, forthright, and passionate with you emotions. You are capable of disciplining yourself, and have a great deal of raw physical strength. Sports, and hobbies that require dedication and discipline provide a release that you can really excel in. You offer personal security to your lovers and are happiest when surrounded by material possessions. Lucky sign Scorpio; Luck may come to you through your intensity of emotion. You never accept shallowness from yourself or others. Through this demanding nature, you are able gain understanding about true inner motivations. Your probing tendency seems ideally suited to an environment where you can play detective. If you want to have more luck, learn to accept criticism about your beliefs and be a little less skeptical. Karmic Sign Capricorn; Success at any price seems to be your motto. The price you usually pay is never being able to relax and enjoy life. Your nose is always to the grindstone -- and amazingly, it seems that you do it all to benefit others. Because you are so persistent you usually achieve your goals and find yourself in positions of authority. But shouldn't you examine the cost? If you want to ever evolve you might try answering this question -- 'Why am I working so hard all the time?' Your family and friends have probably been asking you this for so long it no long registers. And you might have pushed the answer so far down because the truth just might blow your entire do-gooder image. The answer is fear -- that's right, your need to control your environment so it never gets a chance to control you. You might want to explore your relationship with your mother as well. Who you are isn't bad -- in fact you can make wonderful things happen. Healing sign, Chiron in Aquarius; If Chiron falls in Aquarius in your chart, you bear the pain of alienation, of isolation from those around you. No matter how you try to ingratiate yourself into a crowd -- through being yourself or acting the part of an insider -- it seems like you just can't fit in. At the heart of Aquarius is the need to belong to a group and feel part of some larger significant force. When Chiron is in Aquarius, you feel so outside of things, so eccentric and yet lost in the crowd that you may pull back completely, affecting aloofness when really you're yearning to approach people and share your energy. Rather than pulling away or pretending to be someone you're not, Chiron in Aquarius compels you to be yourself and cherish your eccentricity. Once you know that you have consequence and that you, as an individual, can make a difference, you open yourself (and your wound) up to the world and share what you have learned from your pain. Give your time to causes that encourage expression of individuality, like support groups for those dealing with their sexuality or to progressive causes that champion human rights. Rebellion sign, Uranus in Leo; Uranus in Leo marks a very 'me' oriented generation. Anything involving Leo wants to be the center of attention, and your generation will not be satisfied until they and their deeds do just that. This may take many different forms. You may be a prankster, using your sense of fun to promote liveliness in yourself and those around you, or you may take a more circuitous role and draw attention to yourself through a brilliant professional career. You are in a generation of leaders. Those born with this placement may have an innate ability to take charge of a situation and create change in an innovative and expressive way. You can rest assured that you will somehow manage to create an impression on your world, but it's up to you to determine the size of that world and the nature of your impact. Spiritual sign, Neptune in Scorpio; You are part of a 14 year group of people that have very intense psychic sensitivity and imagination. Your age group is very attracted to the strange, weird, and unusual. The sense of the macabre and bizarre is strong, and this is reflected in much of the music, art, and fashions of your age group. Novels and movies with mystery and chilling suspense are also popular with your age group. Emotional depression, drug use, and suicide are likely to be relatively high in your age group. There is also a deep mystical sense, and Eastern religions and meditation are very attractive to your age group. Power sign, Pluto in Virgo; The Pluto in Virgo generation is interested in saving the world, and there's no reason why they shouldn't be able to. This group of people, above all, is not afraid to work. In a revolt against the destructively egotistical forces of previous generations, the Pluto in Virgo group may take it upon themselves to start from the ground up and establish a healing process to preserve the Earth for future generations. This generation is neither idealistic nor optimistic. They may feel like their efforts are just a drop in the bucket when it comes to the problems humans face, and they don't expect anyone else to pick up where they left off. This won't stop them, however. They are content with delayed gratification in their own lives and may be happy knowing only that they are doing their best. Mothering sign, Ceres in Scorpiox; Sensual pleasures are your passion -- you pamper yourself by taking long baths, doing your nails or luxuriating in other sensual delights including everyone's favorite -- sex! But that's not the only thing which makes Ceres in Scorpio smile. Reading is one of your favorite ways to recharge, and you love mystery novels or any book which plays with perceptions and offers surprises. Thrillers and mystery movies are also sources of fun for the Ceres-Scorpio. Even crossword puzzles, which require skill and patience to work out, will pique your fascination with surprises and mystery. Flirting with appealing strangers is another way you can indulge your need for variety, a need which the Ceres-Scorpio should indulge whenever possible to avoid creating negative emotions which you might take out on others. You care for others by protecting them. Ceres in Scorpio craves emotional power and you will do anything for those who sign over their power to you. Intense emotional bonding is possible for you, but take care that you're not too pushy -- only when others are willing to take your lead will you get what you want. Soul mate sign, Juno in Libra; Loving Juno in Libra has a tendency to give her all in relationships. While this leaning can be loving and touching and can shore up the confidence of her partner, she may also sublimate her identity in that of her partner's. Be careful, Juno-Libra, that you don't put your trust in those who aren't worthy and that you remember to keep some time and energy for your own pursuits. That said, Libras are at their happiest when involved in loving long-term partnerships. You love to be in love and are extremely committed to your partner, perhaps committed to a fault. Choose your partner carefully and watch for values which conflict with your own. If you choose the proper partner you are wonderfully giving and loving in love and have peaceful relationships with a minimum of arguments and a maximum of affection. Love just comes naturally to you and so do relationships; it's not often that you're alone and that makes you a happy Juno-Libra indeed. Warrior Sign, Pallas in Libra; Pallas-Libras charm and grace wins over a crowd so effortlessly that they won't realize they're letting you win the battle without even putting up a fight. Good going, Pallas-Libra! You are the classic steel hand in the velvet glove, power hidden by smooth, sexy charm. Your chief asset is that your foes won't see you coming -- they'll be prepared for blustery or glib, but charming Libra will put them at ease before striking her blows. Any situation which requires diplomacy is your natural arena, making you a sublime politician. You also excel at rallying others around a cause with your stirring speeches and choice motivational methods, and you'll always be able to figure out an innovative approach to fighting a battle. Your downfalls? A tendency towards sneakiness and manipulation and your lack of staying power -- you're great at starting a battle, not so sublime at finishing it. But with all the weapons at your disposal you're still a dangerous enemy to face. Sexuality sign, Vesta in Leo; In typical Vesta in Leo fashion, you'll fight like a tiger to get what you want: creative freedom, pleasure, luxury and fun. Even more than that, Vesta-Leo craves control. You don't like anyone telling you what to do, and whoever's trying is no doubt wasting their breath, as you can't be ordered around. Creativity is very important to you, and it's likely you'll end up in a line of work which speaks to this creative wellspring. If you don't, if your fire and drama are quenched, you'll be a very sad Vesta-Leo indeed. But if you allow your creativity to shine through, your brilliance and magnetism are such that you'll find all around you drawn like moths to your flame. That in itself is very important to you -- you like to be admired for the gifts you have. But it can be a danger, too, if you allow your intensity to burn out the attentions of those who are made from calmer stuff. Vesta-Leos need to have fun. You don't need a boost to your ambitions and drive, what you need instead is to relax a bit. You'll find you have almost too many admirers to count, but Vesta-Leo is choosy about whom she allows in her bed, and you won't be swayed by someone you don't admire. Attraction Factor, Gemini Descendant; If Gemini lies on your Descendant, you're searching for a partner who will help you to see the trees for the forest, someone who will deflate your rhetoric with their keen view of reality. Since you have Sagittarius Rising, you have a tendency to want to roam the world endlessly, to continuously question your life's path and explore your every whim and curiosity. Being tied down frightens you, and you instinctually seek out partners who will make you aware of the smaller picture, someone who will want to keep moving around as much you do. When it comes to love, you paint with broad strokes, idealizing the notion of love and expecting your lovers to live up to your high intellectual expectations. You'd be happiest with someone vibrant and youthful; they must mentally stimulate you yet not congratulate you for your occasional arrogance and preachiness! Astrological information courtesy of: http://www.astrology.com/